Sonnet 50 (4.8)

Hello Shakespeareans and welcome back to the Meta-Sonnets Podcast.  As a quick reminder, the website for the podcast is sonnetspodcast.com and my email is sonnetspodcast@gmail.com.  Today is a fun day because we’re going to study one of the most overlooked poems Shakespeare ever wrote.  Yep, that’s right.  We’re going to read Sonnet 50.  I hope you did your homework because this poem, along with its successor Sonnet 51 are going to blow your mind away.

To kind of give away the game, in Sonnet 50, the narrator explains that the meta-sonnet structure is difficult and slow.  In the next poem, Sonnet 51, he openly abandons the structure and runs ahead without it because using the sonnet format to organize 14 sonnets into 11 different different sections is slowing him down.  In my opinion, there is no other way to interpret these two poems.  There are some nuances that might have multiple meanings, but these two poems are a direct reference to the Narrator openly abandoning the meta-sonnet structure.

Now, I want to zoom out and flashback to a few years ago and share a personal story, which is is something I rarely do on this podcast.  I was doing my first deep dive in years trying to figure out what was happening in the work.  It’s one thing to know 11 by 14 and the fact that the secret five act structure exists, but it’s another thing completely to see how it changes or enhances the work.  By that point back then, I’d read all 154 poems multiple times over the years, but, on this read-through, I was taking extensive notes and dwelling on each sonnet for an hour or so, journaling about my observations.  The first 42 poems were easy enough to understand.  Since then, I’ve added to my understanding of Act 1, but the sections all followed a 4442 format.  The first 3 sections are each very different, but they’re all, structurally speaking, 4442 meta-sonnets.  Section 1 is basically 12 poems about the same thing with a 2 sonnet couplet summary.  Section 2 is 14 poems about 14 different things, but things group together just fine.  Section 3 is a slow reveal that ends with a bombshell surprise ending in the couplet.  As such, these three sections have different narrative arcs and they all operate differently, but they closely follow the rules of the sonnet format.  

Then we get here.  Section 4.  I remember reading these poems and being utterly confused, dejected even.  I didn’t understand all the subtext.  As you’ve listened through the recent episodes of the podcast, I’ve explained how all the poems in Section 4 are Shakespeare’s personal commentary on the meta-sonnets, but, back then, I hadn’t figured this out.  I did know all about thematic grouping and Section 4 was not arranged in anything that resembled 4442.  At the time, I was worried that Shakespeare was giving up and reasoned it was a historical secret because he’d come up short and abandoned the project.

I was a little depressed honestly, and then I read Sonnets 50 and 51.  This was the moment I realized that the meta-sonnets were a character in the work, and if I can be honest, it absolutely freaked me out.  To be completely truthful, I had a meltdown and put this project aside for almost a year.  The idea made me feel that uncomfortable, and here’s why.  The meta-sonnets have many layers and there’s a lot to enjoy.  Understanding the narrative arcs of each section and the way poems group together into quatrains and couplets, this is cool stuff.  However, suggesting that the secret structure is part of the narrative - this is hard to believe.  It freaked me out because it either meant I’d uncovered one of the most incredible literary easter eggs ever or it meant I was insane, like a total nut job.  I cannot stress enough that I was worried it might be the second because it would suggest that I was completely delusional about everything relating to this project.

So, I stepped away and came back about twelve months later.  Amazingly, once I accepted it, this breakthrough really opened up new ideas for me.  The first is that the secret structure is a character.  Eventually, I connected this to the mistress.  More immediately, it gave me an answer to what Shakespeare was doing in Section 4.  The reason the section had such a strange arrangement was because Shakespeare wanted it to be erratic.  Not only does it not follow 4442, but this is central to the narrative arc of the section.  Furthermore, with this poem, we’re at the turn.  Normally in a section, Sonnet 9 is the turn, and technically, Sonnet 4.8 is one short of that.  However, since 4.8 and 4.9 are a pair, it makes sense to surmise the turn is starting.  In other words, this is the change, the reveal that the narrator is telling us that he’s jumping ship on the meta-sonnets.

Okay, so let’s get into the poem so that you can know what I’m talking about.  Here’s Sonnet 50 or Sonnet 4.8:

How heavy do I journey on the way,

When what I seek, my weary travel's end,

Doth teach that ease and that repose to say,

'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'

The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,

Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,

As if by some instinct the wretch did know

His rider lov'd not speed being made from thee.

The bloody spur cannot provoke him on,

That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide,

Which heavily he answers with a groan,

More sharp to me than spurring to his side;

For that same groan doth put this in my mind,

My grief lies onward, and my joy behind.

Here is the No Fear Modern Translation:

“I feel very depressed as I go on my journey, because I know when I get where I’m going I’ll have time and leisure to rest, and when I have that time to rest I’ll have nothing to think about except “I’m this many miles away from my friend.”  The horse that carries me, affected by my sadness, plods slowly on, bearing the weight of my emotions, as if by some instinct the poor creature knew that I didn’t want to move quickly away from you.  I can’t provoke him to go any faster with the bloody spur that I sometimes thrust into his hide in anger.  He only answers me with a groan, which hurts me more than my spur hurts him, because it reminds me that my grief lies ahead of me and all my joy is behind.”

So before I dive in too deep, let’s just be honest: there are very few Shakespeareans who actually know that this poem exists.  They may have read it, but it almost certainly didn’t impress them enough to be memorable.  By all classic interpretations, this sonnet is pretty boring.  The most interesting version of the poem is that is metaphor for gay sex.  Now, I won’t downplay that, and I actually think it’s a very legitimate interpretation.  However, this is a PG podcast and I’m not going to discuss sexual intercourse.

So, other than that, no one over the past 400 years has had much reason to give this poem or its successor much attention.  If not for the small fact that they’re written by Shakespeare, these poems would be forgotten, and I think most of us can agree on that.  However, let’s dive in and find out what history has missed.

Lines 1 through 4: 

How heavy do I journey on the way,

When what I seek, my weary travel's end,

Doth teach that ease and that repose to say,

'Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend!'

Here’s my paraphrased translation of what I think this means: Writing within the confines of the meta-sonnet structure is really hard and, being only ⅓ in, I’m exhausted.  The end of this project is still so far away.

Now, I know that translation is not direct, but it is based on context.  Think about where we are in the story.  Sonnet 50 out of 154.  That’s a good way in, but still so far from the end.  For the narrator, this must be artistically challenging, possibly even daunting.

Having said that, let’s step back and separate the narrator persona from the actual writer.  Personally, I think Shakespeare wrote the poems out of order and not straight through.  I also think that this struggle with the meta-sonnets is an intentional narrative theme, not some form of real writer’s block.  So, I hope this is a clear distinction because writer’s block is part of the story.  That’s not to say that Shakespeare didn’t actually feel frustrated at times while composing this sonnet sequence and working within the 11x14 framework.  After all, that may have inspired the wildness that is Section 4, but I think the narrator’s dejection is great character work and not a personal confession by the author.  Regardless, the point is that the narrator is looking at his spot on the timeline and thinking, “I’ve got a lot of work to do.”  33% of the way in is the perfect place to feel this emotion.  Too far in to give up, but with so much work to do.  It’s like going for a three mile run and feeling tired after the first mile because it’s so easy to want to give up.

I believe this is heavily supported by line 4: “Thus far the miles are measured from thy friend.”  The last four words are the key - “measured from thy friend.”  The word “measured” can absolutely be a word that connects to the secret five act structure.  Everything about 11x14 involves measuring.  When planning out the narrative arc of each section and act, Shakespeare had to measure out how to tell his story within the framework 14 sonnets at a time.  The narrative arc of each section couldn’t be too long or too short.  It had to be measured exactly right.

The next part is “thy friend.”  Who is “thy friend” or in a more modern sense, who is, “your friend?”  Obviously there are a variety of candidates and they are the usual suspects.  It’s going to be either the narrator or the structure.  Or I’m misinterpreting this and the “friend” is somehow the poems, but I think that’s less likely.  Instead, let’s consider the two obvious choices: is the narrator referring to himself in third person as “thy friend” or is the narrator implying that the structure is the friend of the poems?  Obviously, the traditional interpretation is that the poet is talking about himself in third person, but the much more fun version is that “thy friend” is the meta-sonnets.  

So, let’s unpack what that could mean.  Big picture, Shakespeare’s Sonnets is a work about the relationship between a poet, his sonnets, and the form he uses to write the poems.  So, in a sense, the poems and the structure must be friends or else the sonnet sequence won’t work.  However, zooming in, the last six poems have been about the struggle between the structure and poems.  As such, this shows a change which would be appropriate for Section 4’s turn.

Lines 5-8:

The beast that bears me, tired with my woe,

Plods dully on, to bear that weight in me,

As if by some instinct the wretch did know

His rider lov'd not speed being made from thee.

Here’s my modernized version: The meta-sonnets feel tired and I’m worn out using them.  However, we both push on, but the secret five act structure is getting harder to use and it feels like the structure knows I hate how much it slows me down.

Narratively, Shakespeare is telling us why Section 4 feels so disjointed.  It’s because the character of the narrator is worn out and faltering in his execution.  He’s just not enjoying this project right now.  He’s stuck writing something in which he’s lost passion.  Now, if I’m not clear, this plot point is connected to story and character, not Shakespeare’s actual feelings, or, at least that’s not how I see it.

There is one thing that I want to highlight.  It is “the beast that bears me.”  The idea is that Shakespeare is not only calling the meta-sonnets a wild animal, but he is also admitting that it’s carrying this entire project.  Imagine being stuck within the confines of the structure.  It feels cruel, heartless, and evil, but there’s no other choice.  We can never know how The Bard actually felt about this, but many writers can relate to this sentiment.  Imagine how many screenwriters feel trapped within a three act structure or how many musicians feel compelled to release derivative versions of their previous popular songs?  Copycating works, but it can also be soulless.  I think that’s the main thought here, and it’s completely relatable.

Lines 9-12: 

The bloody spur cannot provoke him on,

That sometimes anger thrusts into his hide,

Which heavily he answers with a groan,

More sharp to me than spurring to his side;

Visually, we can imagine a cowboy on a horse.  The horse is tired and the cowboy is essentially riding the horse to death.  He’s basically abusing the animal trying to get as much out of it as he can.  It is abuse and it is cruel and it is wrong, but at the same time, it isn’t working because the animal isn’t moving faster.  Now, let’s apply this to the narrator because he’s equally frustrated with the sonnet format and the meta-sonnet structure.  He’s pushing it and the results aren’t working.  He’s exhausted and the output feels strained and tired, and this is a really cool idea.

Here’s my modernized version of the third quatrain: “Trying to make the meta-sonnets work feels like beating a dead horse.  I try to force it forward, but it barely moves and acts like it has nothing to offer.”

I hope you now understand why I think this poem is so much fun.  While we’re reading Section 4, Shakespeare is literally wearing us out as we try to figure out what’s going on.  For me, years ago, it was so exhausting that I needed an extended hiatus before I could continue.  How many artists have felt this frustration with their craft?  I think this is a universal theme, and quite simply, scholars have missed it.

Lines 13 and 14: “For that same groan doth put this in my mind,

My grief lies onward, and my joy behind.”

The modern translation of these lines is simple.  “This project isn’t fun anymore.  It used to be fun, but it’s not anymore.”

Imagine this plight: being in the middle of a project only to realize that the passion is gone.  Unfortunately, you’re stuck because you have to finish.  That’s the situation here.  For the narrator, writing this sonnet sequence feels like rolling a ball up a hill.

And so there you have it.  Overall, this isn’t the most complicated poem.  However, the meaning has been completely missed by history.  And by that, I mean there are two meanings.  One, this is easily a metaphor about writer’s block or an artist losing their passion, and the other is how this connects to the narrative arc of Section 4.

On the surface, a poem about riding a tired horse isn’t that interesting.  However, narratively, it’s doing a lot.  Or at least, that’s my version of the story.

The other option is to say that this poem is not that good and that nothing I’ve described about these poems is real.  Maybe I am delusional and you’re either caught in my trap or you’re listening with disgust.  Regardless, listeners have more or less two options.  Either my ideas for this poem are more or less correct and they deserve major attention or the poem is boring and this episode deserves to be forgotten.

Personally, I hope you chose the first option.  This sonnet really shows what Shakespeare can do once you see the meta-sonnets.  And for me, I will always have a special connection with this poem because reading it completely reworked my relationship to Shakespeare’s Sonnets.  Sonnet 50 is not one of the best poems, but it is one of my favorites.  

So, we’re done.  I’ll complete the ideas in this poem when I read its partner in the next episode, and we’ll build on these themes then.  In the meantime, here’s a repeat of my rewritten version:

Writing within the confines of the meta-sonnet structure is really hard and, being only ⅓ in, I’m exhausted.  The end of this project is still so far away.  The structure feels tired and I’m worn out using it.  However, we both push on, but the secret five act structure is getting harder to use and it feels like the structure knows I hate how much it slows me down.  Trying to make the meta-sonnets work feels like beating a dead horse.  I try to force it forward, but it barely moves and acts like it has nothing to offer.  This project isn’t fun anymore.  It used to be fun, but it’s not anymore.

Thanks for listening.